Stephanie, mom-blogger and columnist at Blogzine has been a mummy for almost three years now. In recent years, she has personally experienced how motherhood works, or at least mostly. Or at least… sort of. Moses once described the ten commandments in the bible, but as a mommy that doesn’t help. Therefore Stephanie wrote down her ten commandments of motherhood.
Print this article, hang it above your bed and realize that this is the rest of your life dear mommy.
1. You won’t sleep
In the first weeks as a new mummy you hardly sleep. The baby needs his food every three hours and you fight for a normal functioning life. The housekeeping, a moment of me – time, it keeps you awake. But don’t imagine anything, that sleep doesn’t return, never. Because once they get older, the fear of abandonment comes, the accidents in bed, the nightmares.
And once you think you have recovered your sleep, the children go to some discotheque and quietly wait until they are safe at home again. It doesn’t matter moms, we only learn to function stronger with a consistent lack of sleep.
2. You won’t be able to watch your sleeping child without melting down.
How many times during the day you curse on that little whirlwind and count down until it’s finally bedtime, once they’re in bed you’ll miss them. Believe me. I love it when I – much too late, of course – crawl into my bed in the evening and see my daughter sleeping through the camera. Mama’s heart melts!
3. You will never have the bathroom for yourself again
Whether it’s for a pee or a relaxing shower, you will lose that moment for yourself. As soon as you give birth to your child, that personal space disappears. When my daughter sees me going to the bathroom, I hear the little footsteps follow. Mommy just has to pee, it’s no reason for a short moment of privacy.
4. You’ll never finish your laundry
Every mother’s wet dream: after running dozens of washing machines, finally an empty laundry basket. Enjoy it, because it takes about five seconds. Soon there will be dirty pants or t-shirt, a washcloth or socks hanging full of sand. And then the whole adventure just starts all over again.
5. You will never call again without any distractions
Don’t try to call your best friend and assume you can catch up for an hour. Unrealistic with a child in the house. You’re thinking, oh she’s busy, I have a moment. Kids have extremely sensitive feelers for these kinds of situations, so from the moment someone picks you up on the other end of the line, your child needs you again. Believe me when I say that ignoring isn’t a solution, I repeat: don’t ignore. Because then it only gets worse.
6. You will not bring to the table meals that you know your child does not want
I have had them once, that facade of my child must learn to eat whatever comes on the table. But if you don’t fancy the millionth discussion of the day, which you don’t seem to be winning anyway, you’d better put those mushrooms aside.
7. You will not avoid crumbs
Believe me, I once said my kid shouldn’t eat cookies in our car or on the couch. Believe me when I say I’m just laughing at this right now. Because the reality is a cookie is a damn good distraction in crisis situations. So yes dear darling take another cookie and yes dear darling put you on the couch. The vacuum cleaner will be back here today.
8. You won’t judge another mother without experiencing the karma of it yourself
The sisterhood of motherhood is a clean story but unfortunately no reality. In fact, between mothers there is – unfortunately – a lot of competition. But karma dominates. So the next time you take a contemptuous look at a mother who loses control, realise that the same thing will happen to you. And that’s faster than you think.
9. You won’t be able to stop time, no matter how much you wish
As the cliché agrees: time flies, especially with a child. One moment you wish he was bigger, that you could play with him. The other moment you look back full of nostalgia that he was lying in your arms. So enjoy every moment, because there will come a day when you can only miss it.
10. You will find the meaning behind true love
Did you ever think you were going to die of heartbreak? Or that your partner is the person you incredibly love? Wrong. You will only discover what true love is when you take your child in your arms for the first time. The worries you feel, the rollercoaster of feelings, the pride. Those are just the ingredients of true love. There is no love that makes you so complete, that fills you as the love of your child.
Do you have any nice additions to Stephanie’s Ten Commandments? Then be sure to let us know in the comments.