Column: Valentine’s Day, a day to love yourself too


It’s that time again: Valentine’s Day. The day of love and the day of roses, chocolates and a gift to surprise your loved one with. But for years we have been saying, “It’s Valentine’s Day every day”. And that’s right. But also today some romantic souls will look forward to a special moment….

Talk to yourself like someone you love

Today is a day when we reflect on what you love and who you love. And for me personally, as an eternally single person, it is also a day that makes my heart beat faster. Because I might think, “another year without a boyfriend” or “another year without roses”.  True. But those who don’t learn to love themselves can’t love anyone else either. And as I reflect back on the past few years, as a single person, I realize for a moment how far I’ve come.

Let’s go for a walk

My love life deserves to be filmed. It’s that turbulent, exaggerated and implausible. You would almost think that all the impossible cases are thrown at me: from the narcissistic persons to cheating and so on. In fact, I’ve even become tremendously cautious since watching entire seasons of Catfish on MTV! Especially now in times of lockdown and dating over the internet. Because besides walks in the park or FaceTime, we don’t have many options left to get to know and see someone for the first time.

But besides the fact that you can easily get to know someone online now, it is still very difficult to find love. And let’s mainly emphasize that it’s about sincere love.

In recent years, after my most toxic relationship ever, I have noticed that the wrong person also brings out the worst in you. Often unconsciously and without you wanting it. So I came to realize that as soon as I met someone I liked, I started to change and lose myself. Lost because I wanted to give myself so hard, prove myself and give that person love, that I completely forgot to think about myself. Then when the dating ended in nothing, I was disappointed in myself again. And with the questions like “What is wrong with me?” and “Will I never find someone good for me?”, I tortured myself.

There’s nothing wrong with me

There is nothing wrong with being a loving person. There is nothing wrong with me nor with who I am. But it took me a year to be able to realize this. Thanks to the lockdown and the fact that you can’t actually date properly either, I was able to work on myself for all these months.

I recognized that the people who came in my life were there for one reason: to show me what I just didn’t need. It did not hurt any less, because at the moment itself you do not realize that. But while reflecting and picking myself up again, today I know what I need. And that’s really not a long list of requirements.

One of the most important things on this list is appreciation, respect, and value. For each other and towards each other. Because let’s face it, besides open communication and fidelity, there is nothing more important than showing your partner that you care. And just that’s what I kept missing. Someone who could appreciate and respect my career, personality, crazy moods and love. Maybe this sounds logical, but I am sure many will say: I get you!

Happy Valentine’s Day to me

Just because I took the time to think about this, put everything in a place and work on my own happiness, today I can proudly say that I love myself. It was anything but an easy process and it will always be trial and error. Because disappointments in life, or love, cannot be avoided. But I do stand stronger in life than ever.

Note: Loving yourself is more important than loving someone else. So always learn to love yourself first, before giving all your love to someone. And so I promise to myself that I will never again allow to lose myself again when I get to know someone. To prove myself to someone. And that’s why I celebrate Valentine’s Day today, because I love me.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you. To all those who have found love, to every single person who pampers themselves today, and to everyone who looks in the mirror and says “I LOVE YOU!”.

This article has been written by @CINDY VAN DYCK

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