Column: Stop saying you accept me!


In this week’s article, our columnist Angelo talks about how wrong it is to use words like ‘acceptance’ and ‘lgbtqia+’ in the same breath. He also addresses issues of hypocrisy and double standards regarding homosexuality and transgenderism within today’s society.

Last week was IDAHOT, the international day against homophobia and transphobia. Remarkable to me was the fact that I saw a lot of friends posting “Thank you for accepting me!”. And that has been stuck in my head the whole week. Because what kind of society are we living in when we have to thank someone for accepting us or for letting us be who we are? How absurd is the fact that we have to actively beg for acceptance from others?

Stop using the word acceptance

In an interview not long ago, someone asked me, “Is it enough to accept someone’s orientation?” I found that question so absurd. First of all, acceptance means that you tolerate something, that you can live with something even though you have other beliefs, other values. But the fact that I exist and that I am who I am, it is not something that others should have to tolerate. The fact that I exist is my right as a human being. Just like everyone in this world has the right to just be, to exist.

Secondly, accepting someone’s orientation, if we are to take it so absolutely, is certainly not enough. The concept of acceptance should even be non-existent in this context and people should not dwell on such matters.

The world has bigger problems than boys who kiss boys

Indeed, the world has far more important problems than homosexuality, transexuality or anything in between. It is ridiculous that so many people are so alarmed about who someone loves. While at the same time there is so much injustice going on in the world. So much crime is being committed. And in many of the cases it is not condemned. But when a woman wants to live and get married with her same-sex partner the alarms go off. How absurd is that?

What a hypocritical society

How hypocrite can it be that when two men want to register their adopted child they cannot, but when a rainbow path is built in the same municipality, they are invited to the inauguration? What double standards are we living with every day?

And how come nobody says anything about it? If I were working in a municipality and someone was faced with such a problem, I would do everything I could to make sure that such a law or regulation is changed. So how inhuman or insensitive are those people who work at such an agency that they do nothing about it?

I don’t want to start pointing fingers, nor do I want to put the blame solely on them. But every now and then I do wonder immensely about the type of person who works in such a department. And whether that person comes home and is really happy with the work he or she is doing. And if that is the case, then perhaps we are really nowhere in terms of equality. Because every person with a healthy mind should realize that this kind of thing is not ok.

I hear a lot of people around me making comments and wild statements about how we shouldn’t complain and whine and that we have enough rights already. But feel free to make a list of how many things are not possible today as a same-sex couple; or make the same list of how many uncomfortable questions and situations someone experiences in his or her life as a transgender person. Only then (I hope) will you realize how much work is left to do and how much right we have to run around complaining and whining. 

My column here on Blogzine represents only my own ideas and thoughts. I invite everyone to read it and take from it as he or she pleases. I only hope that my column can make someone understand how much impact certain actions, words or whatever can have on another person’s life.

This article has been written by @ANGELO VERO

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